Committing To Stay

[Above photo: “Oh, no, Mr. Bill! There’s a workman ahead with a flag who has fallen over!”]

14 March 2022

The chaos, devastation, cruelty, and lies perpetrated by one criminal mind to feed his grandiose and vengeful—-oh, these are all knowns. Restraint and uncertainty are difficult to tolerate but often wise. I keep hoping some more strategic heads in the Kremlin will overdose him with coumadin and slam his head into a table, as was Stalin’s rumored exit. The FSB certainly must have enough crafty, criminal minds to be able to pull that off.

On a cheerful note, my Portland saga is coalescing. I have a couple of friends. I’ve been asked to supper by the head of the Child Psychiatry group here and he’s planning a larger gathering for the entire flock where I’ll get to meet them all and share some of my experiences teaching our discipline in Malawi and Myanmar. Those places seem far away from me right now, even if some of my students don’t.

I learned today from one student that the only Pediatric Neurologist in the country (pop. 54,000,000) has been imprisoned since August. Prof. Kyaw Lin and I regularly shared cases and even though we disagreed on treatment—he was rigidly, it seemed to me, limited to prescribing medication—he was an excellent and experienced diagnostician. He helped us diagnose our first sightings of Rett’s Syndrome and of anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis. Apparently, and my knowledge is fragmentary, he participated in the government work stoppage (Civil Disobedience Movement) after the coup and is being punished for that. His trainees and pediatric patients with neurological problems are being deprived by his absence.

It is strange to me how Myanmar has faded from the general consciousness, eclipsed by the tragedy in Ukraine. Since Russia has supplied Myanmar with military training and weapons, the Generals are supportive of Putin’s Revenge. I read Robert Hubbell’s newsletter daily (as well as Heather Cox Richardson’s) and wrote to him the other day, complaining when he said that the war in Ukraine was shaping up to be “the worst human catastrophe in 75 years”. He meant, I think, since WW2 and the Holocaust. I objected and questioned his blind spots. Vietnam—2 million civilians  & 1 million fighters dead. Cambodia—1.5-3 million dead. Ruanda—1.1 million dead. Sudan—390,000 dead. Iraq—150-400,000 civilians dead. Lebanon—144,000 dead. And Kurds and Rohingya and on and on. We are a species easily given to blood-lust. There may be several reasons for his bias, of course.  When I made the above list to send to him, I left out Vietnam in error. It is easy to feel justified in wanting to attack, torture, humiliate, and exterminate Putin. I doubt that the current bombardment and killing in Ukraine will match our destruction of life and property in either Iraq or Vietnam, however.

Terminally flawed at times, our leaders.

I’m sprucing up my wardrobe, feeling like seedy isn’t the presentation I want to make. I got a perfect Aran Islands sweater from Ireland and a newsboy’s cap of tweed. My brother, Charles, gave me one as a gift years ago. It was from Marshall Fields in Chicago and I loved it. I didn’t take it to the tropics and when I unpacked my storage space looking for winter clothing, there was a sweet little mouse who’d eaten a hole in the top of the hat and made a very cosey nest therein. I cannot really blame him; he had no idea how I loved that hat.

My 14yo Burlington Mills pea jacket has seen better days, its cuffs fraying. I happened on a great sale at Macy’s yesterday and bought a $300 Calvin Klein jacket for $70. It should last me the duration. I’ve been eyeing new cars, as my Subaru is 18 years old, has a hole in the muffler, and the paint is peeling off. A plug-in hybrid seems the best idea. My niece loves her Kia Niro and loads it with amazing amounts of gear, her mother, and her son for the trip from Bethesda to Brooksville (Maine) and back each summer.

Finally, I have a perfect realtor with whom I visited two condos on Sunday, establishing a baseline and learning what to consider before I purchase. My nervousness about committing to live here has morphed into excitement, as I increasingly feel conviction that I can make a rich life here.

DT fades into the woodwork as his lies and hatred become more manifest and as the stink of his crimes threatens to taint his acolytes. New serpents replace him. Of course let’s jail parents who are trying, with medical guidance, to help their children be more comfortable and less tortured in this world. And let’s fire teachers who read a popular story which uses the word “butt”. Since all humans, and most other animals, have butts I don’t think this is news to the kids and not sexually titillating, if humorously exciting. If the politicians supporting censorship really felt what they were prohibiting, it would be one thing. We know it is all calculated jockeying for power. Their cynicism and hypocrisy are their only substance, like the “stable instability” of those who suffer with Borderline Personality Disorder. Sigh.