Regret

7 March 2021

[Above photos:  The pier at Robben Island, with Cape Town and Table Mountain in the background. It is appropriate for here and now, I think. It is also hopeful, if the world vigorously supports the protest movement.]

The birdsong in the mornings and at twilight has become insane. Perhaps the breeding season is upon us. Astounding music broadcasts from the jungle behind the house. It is very difficult to view the  vocalists, since that side of the house faces a wall of mango trees. Mangos have very dense foliage and birds rarely perch in ours. A bittersweet consequence of leaving is that we, sitting on our patio 15 feet above the ground, have been watching an incredible crop of mangoes mature. If we actually are able to leave in 2 weeks we’ll miss the harvest. We even bought a clipper designed to attach to a long pole; I was going to fashion a net on another pole so we wouldn’t have to play outfield, catching them on the fly. Still, it is remarkable, even inspiring, to hear the birdlife simultaneous with the grim sound of gunfire and flashbangs at some distance.

I got the numbers wrong in my last post, as often happens in a combat zone. The UN estimates that 38 peaceful protesters were killed on Wednesday, not 52 as I was first told. Many others were wounded. The Tatmadaw has their own Uzi factory here. As you can imagine in this smartphone-infested country, gruesome videos are put immediately on Tic Tok or Facebook. One showed a compliant young protester, having been taken into custody, being bludgeoned with a rifle butt until dead. Needless to say, I don’t  feel compelled to watch these. It has been relatively quiet since Wednesday with only one or two deaths.

The general staff surrounding Sr. General Min Aung Hlaing are rumored to be unhappy with his performance; they feel he has not cracked down hard enough. Over 50 are dead across the country and many are wounded. How many will they kill if the CDM and protests continue?  Hundreds? Thousands? The military has a 60 year history of this, suppressing several general uprisings (1988 and 2007), as well as constant civil wars in several states. Oh, and then there is the Rohingya genocide in 2017. They may not grasp empathy, compassion, fairness, or other civilized emotions but they certainly do understand power, brutality, and intimidation. And yet, I cannot say that the white apartheid government in S. Africa was any less skilled at the brutal arts or any less determined. They did seem more persuaded by outside pressure.

I’ve managed to pack and repack, so I now am able to take most of what I want with me. Yesterday a trip to the Pro 1 Global Home Center to buy a PVC tube to protect a rolled-up canvas took me on a very circuitous route.  The taxi moved quickly down twisty lanes, avoiding the main streets. Many of the major streets are blocked off by military and police, with trucks full of the same waiting in readiness. The taxi driver made shooting gestures and noises, laughingly. Protests are few and scattered as everyone regroups following Wednesday’s slaughter. I needed 42” of tube to pack my rolled painting but had to buy 19’ and have it cut into shorter lengths.

For a dash of normality, we revived our Saturday dinner/poker game last night. Since there is a 6PM-6AM curfew, Connor spent the night and we played with only 4. As the game allowed, we had an additional “dead” hand; that “person” was forced to bet on every hand and they lost their shirt.  I made a spaghetti sauce—it is so easy and quick—and both fettucine and rice noodles, as Irene has a gluten sensitivity. My pasta sauce “recipe”: saute lots of garlic, a large onion, and oyster mushrooms in olive oil. Add a pinch of salt and abundant oregano. Add two jars of the local marinara sauce, half a bottle of red wine, and abundant red chili flakes. Simmer for 45 minutes at least. It was great, even if we didn’t have parmesan.

The poker was lively, with many embellishments to standard games, including combining Texas hold ‘em and draw poker, adding a “kicker” [which can turn one of your cards wild] or a “reamer” [which makes one of your cards disappear] at the end. The betting was all over the place and I won big-time, taking from all 3 players plus the dead hand. However, for the first time, since the ATMs are empty and cash is short, we simply put in IOU’s and kept a record of my winnings on a slip of paper with the chips. I doubt I’ll claim it before I leave. About $10. It was a fun break.

And speaking of fun, I’m finishing How To Watch Basketball Like A Genius by Nick Greene. He is married to Laura Spiekerman, a close friend of my daughter and a former neighbor. They have a new book and a new son, Nico—lots of birthings.

Reading the book is engrossing. Nick is smart, playful, witty, and has a wide-ranging intelligence. At 5’7” I never cottoned to basketball, having enjoyed the elbows of taller players a few times too many in high school. However, understanding its evolution, artistry, and mechanics from this book has made me an instant fan. I begin to see what Steve Kerr was trying to accomplish with Stephan Curry, Klay Thompson, Harrison Barnes, and the rest of the Golden State lineup when I watched them occasionally on TV in the mid-teens.   Reading it is like watching, or even playing in, a good pick-up game. There is an agility to his writing, with feints, flops, and ever-surprising moves. The narrative is propulsive and expansive and I am constantly eager to see the next play. I highly recommend it, which surprises even me!

The most difficult topic for me today is regret. I have many regrets in my life. I suppose many people I admire have made missteps or not taken maximal advantage of their opportunities. My regrets stick with me like red wine on a white shirt at a dinner party, never to be completely expunged—-at least from my memory. I thought that with this, likely my last major act, I could cast off this mortal coil and conclude my life without a final regret. T’was not to be.

I feel terrible leaving these smart, generous, loving people, who have so graciously befriended me, in their time of need as the country descends into —–what? Chaos? Civil war? Slavery? It is slavery when you are forced to work when you don’t want to and for virtually no pay, in this case as a highly skilled professional with lots of responsibility for individual lives. As I’ve said, a government specialist doctor (an internist, pediatrician, psychiatrist, etc.) earns $150/month. My professor, who is also the Director of the Myanmar Mental Health Hospital, the President of the Myanmar Mental Health Association, and the National Program Manager for Mental Health, earns a whopping $200/month. Many doctors have gone into hiding because they participated in the Civil Disobedience Movement. 30+ have been imprisoned. The military is trying to force them to work for slave wages, and that isn’t even the cause of their refusal to work. Living in Myanmar is very inexpensive; however, a person can barely survive, let alone support a family, on those wages.  The remuneration is similar to the tenant farm system in the US after our civil war. Or to many “minimum wage” jobs in the US today.

Anyway, I feel considerable regret. There is no escaping it in this life, I think.  It would be worthwhile for me to reflect a bit on that, however.  I suppose regret is feeling that one should have done more or less or different than one did. And I simply have to live with it. If I stay and it gets awful, I get ill or injured (I’ll feel no regret if I’m killed or otherwise die.), or there is no way out, I’ll regret that choice, as well.

We choose. How best to do so that we can live comfortably with our decisions? The most difficult for me is the balance between what is best for me as an individual and what is best for others. When I simply shoot myself in the foot, it hurts but not as much.

“Hell Is Other People”—from “No Exit” by Jean-Paul Sartre

4 March 2021

The day before yesterday 14yo and 16yo boys, among others, were shot and killed. I thought about that when I’d awaken during the night. Yesterday 61 people were shot to death across Myanmar, including 22 in Yangon, with correspondingly many wounded. Automatic weapons are being used.  The military is blocking major roads in Yangon. Twelve surveillance drones at a time have been spotted the sky over Yangon.  Medics helping the wounded were yanked out of ambulances and beaten with the butts of guns; one died from the beating. Some of the wounded have been hunted at night and arrested. There are videos of military men drinking beer together at the end of the day, celebrating how many they have killed.

This is what can happen when the results of free elections are not accepted.

The Myanmar Medical Society just announced that its members will not treat injured police or soldiers.

No teaching can occur when the schoolhouse is on fire. I’ve announced to my professor and students that I’ll be leaving soon. They have urged me to leave. None of them can. I applaud their courage. It is very difficult to abandon them in this time of violence and cruelty.

Beginning To Think of Home

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28 February 2021

[Above photo: Taken in Pro Mart, a Korean-owned grocery store nearby. Bud’s Ice Cream on Divisidero St. in Noe Valley in SF was the go-to parlor in the 1960’s. Always a lively crowd there. Small world! Except that now Bud’s is probably owned by China.]

I was awakened by chants of protesters at 5AM today.  They were moving down Kabah Aye Pagoda Road, ¼ mile away from our house, heading for Sule, one of the two or three major protest sites. All morning today, and it is noon as I write, there have been the sounds of gunfire and other explosives. The military is using flashbangs and tear gas on the protesters, as well as rubber bullets and, occasionally, live ammunition. Two days ago, pro-coup protesters showed up in force with clubs, knives, and slingshots. Some people were stabbed, beaten, and otherwise injured. The official death count for the country so far is at 8 but may be much higher after today. Huge protests are anticipated for tomorrow, Monday.

There have been videos of thugs, allegedly paid by the military, stabbing protesters. A neighborhood watch civilian was stabbed to death at night two days ago. My student in Magway has moved with her family into hiding, as have all her colleagues.  The military is apparently breaking down doors and arresting those physicians who have joined the Civil Disobedience Movement work stoppage in Magway.  Videos are available on YouTube showing interviews with poor families who were allegedly paid by the military to have their children, as young as 9yo, light fires in different areas of Yangon. Yesterday during my group supervision, one of the students reported that soldiers were clubbing people in front of her apartment. Suddenly, there was tear gas deployed on both sides of her building.

I was able to conduct the supervision with difficulty. Our internet, for some reason, has not been working, independent of the 1AM to 9AM countrywide shutoff.   I walked across our back lawn to Jose and Irene’s and sat on the porch while they slept. Irene eventually came out to enjoy the morning on the shaded porch and I moved into one of their bedrooms to complete the 3 hours. Now I have repurposed my wi-fi extender so it connects with Jose’s, positioning it on our patio which faces his home. We can use wi-fi when the internet is on nationwide.

Kelly and I talk about the current and prospective situation constantly. He also talks daily with the head of a large UN organization, the director of CARE, and others of similar rank. His perspective is, although always qualified with “We generally get it wrong in Myanmar.”, that things are likely to quickly devolve. It seems that the opposition to the coup is growing and firm and, of course, a military is reluctant to relinquish power anytime. Which leads us to a rock and a hard place. Plus, 10% of the population supports the military coup.  They have released from prison the radical right, military-supporting monk, Wirathu, so he may bring some monks into the fray.

My professor wrote to me, suggesting I go home because he thought things would get worse. The problems for me with going home now include: 1) feeling like I am abandoning my students, although in reality I can do little to help them; 2) the strong likelihood of not being able to return, at least for a long, long time if the military hangs on; 3) I still am teaching now, even if it is outside the university; and, 4) I have a comfortable life with some purpose, if a bit boring at the moment. 

However, if it gets dicey, we really cannot move about at all, and they are rounding up foreigners, I’ll likely try to get a flight out. It isn’t easy, as very few come through the airport now. A special flight for Americans voluntarily leaving was arranged by the Embassy and left this morning. I’d guess they’ll attempt the same again if things get truly wild for us and there is a mandatory evacuation order. I’ll pack a grab-bag today and a couple of suitcases so I can go quickly if needed.

It is very cold in Maine at present so it’s likely I’d go to Berkeley for awhile and stay with friends. Living out of a suitcase when not truly on vacation gets old after a week, though. And houseguests, like fish, stink after 4 days, according to Benjamin Franklin.

It makes me think of what young war correspondents endure—-and seek. I am sure, after the initial terror, there is an adrenaline high. Lots of alcohol-fueled debriefing in smokey bars, lots of intense, anxiety-driven couplings. I can see the appeal but it isn’t strong enough for me to seek it. I have more to do and don’t want to become a random, useless casualty, wounded or worse.  My description is more dramatic than the reality, since so far we’ve felt no threat. It is not yet a war zone, outside of the protest centers. At night we have begun locking the metal gate covering our front entrance. And this is the first day we’ve heard such sustained bursts of gunfire repeatedly.

Hearing that the ports are closed, medications may become difficult to purchase.  Yesterday I walked to Golden Bell Pharmacy on Shwegondaing yesterday to get my ACE inhibitors. Going and coming I passed the entrance to Dhammazedi Road which was blocked off with barriers and police; underneath the flyover was a huge gathering of protesters. The flyover both shielded them from the sun and amplified their songs and chants dramatically. On the way to the pharmacy, I waved to the police but they didn’t wave back. Then I realized I had on my red “Fight For Democracy” face mask. On my return, I was the only person walking across a 100×100 foot expanse of empty asphalt dividing the protesters from the police. I couldn’t resist and turned to the protesters and raised and waved the 3 finger salute (from “The Hunger Games”) that is standard for the protest. I wondered if I would attract more police attention than I might want, but I didn’t. In retrospect, I am glad it was police, not the military.

It is so difficult to know how this might play out. A slow burn, as the military keeps upping the ante and the protesters fatigue with the intimidation, casualties, and limited funding/food? A counter-coup within the military by those officers sick of seeing their countrymen/women killed and injured? Armed intervention by the rural militias—Kachin, Shan, Karen—who may see this as their only chance for a new Constitution embracing a Federalism which allows them partial autonomy? It all feels like it’s heading for chaos, bloodletting, and civil war, if that is what you call conflict by a people against their military rulers.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I read an interesting piece in the NYT today about Madison Cawthorn, a 25yo newly-elected Representative from N. Carolina. A college drop-out (1 semester, all D’s), deemed a sexual predator in an open letter by 150 of his classmates, a shameless liar about his past along the Trump lines, and a DT-for-ever acolyte, spewing nonsense and Trump-like vitriol. In our House of Representatives? Really, western North Carolina? DT announced that he had “a great future”.

Meanwhile, it is a quiet Sunday afternoon. I was going to have beers with a friend on her poolside patio today at 5 but the Embassy has said that none of us should go out. I did hear a lot of loud machinery moving slowly down Kabah Aye yesterday morning; it sounded to me like an armored column, but what do I know? Rumors abound.

Note: After I finished writing this post news arrived that another girl has been shot and killed in the Hledan protest and 4 wounded.

Note: 17 were killed by the military in Myanmar today. Many were wounded, many were arrested for peaceful protesting. 30 doctors were arrested for their part in the CDM (Civil Disobedience Movement).

All We Are Is Dust In The Wind*

*A line from one of the Myanmar protest songs, originally by the band, Kansas.

22 February 2021

[Above photo: A truckload of Burmese arriving at the Hledan Center protest site. ]

Today is a significant day for the protests.  Three weeks in, it is the first nationwide strike, an augmentation of the Civil Disobedience Movement. It also follows carnage two days ago in Mandalay, the story of which is something close to this:

The Tatmadaw (Burmese military) were trying to force [longshoremen or fishermen] back to work at the port. Shots were fired and two [or up to 9] people were killed and many wounded. Unlike in the US, civilians aren’t armed here. When medical personnel and others went to assist those injured, [snipers or regular military] fired on them, wounding more. The purpose was to intimidate people with force. The Tatmadaw have already tried to spin it, saying that the bullets found were not of the sort they used so the shots must have come from somewhere else. There was also a rumor that those assisting were shot because the military wanted to hide the bodies. Neither of those explanations make sense to me but serve to point out how difficult it is to obtain honest information.

I fear today may be even more confrontative, as the economy has ground to a halt and the military feels a need to assert its dominance over the people.  Kelly did a quick shop for vegetables yesterday, since all the markets will be closed today and who knows for how long. We’ll stay home.

It was surreal in the midst of this to watch the local tennis tournament at l’ Opera yesterday, chatting and sipping a cappuccino on a vine-shaded terrace overlooking Inya Lake.  Then a tasty Linguine con le Vongole as we discussed the rumors and predictions.  And after a taxi ride home, we watched the Djokovic/Medvedev final at the Australian Open.

I’ve just finished reading The Ratline by Phillippe Sands. It traces the life and the post-war hunt for Otto von Waechter, the Austrian Nazi SS Obersturmfuhrer who was responsible for killing a million Jews in Poland during WW 2. He was the governor of Galicia, living in Lemberg (now Lviv). It is difficult not to connect that totalitarian excess with this one. Differences would include that many more ordinary citizens were complicit with that one, the world chose not to observe too closely, we weren’t all connected by TV and internet, and there were not massive public protests or work stoppage in opposition. The cruelty of the leaders, implacable and fabricating rationales, was similar, as has been the impotent but calculated early response of the world.

What Sands, who is a dogged researcher and a master of suspense, taught me as he shone his unflinching light on Rome and the Vatican was how very complicit factions of the Catholic Church were with the Nazis. Since much of Austria and Germany were Catholic and Jews were seen by the Catholic Church as a threat, the Pope (Pius XII) turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the catastrophe unfolding in front of him.

“The Ratline” was the CIA nickname for the clandestine pipeline used to smuggle Nazi war criminals from Italy, to which many of them fled at the end of World War II, to South America where they were welcomed in Argentina, Chile and other countries, quite safe havens all. Sands’ balance and restraint in maintaining relationships over years with the sons of two major war criminals, one son rejecting his father’s actions and the other excusing or denying them, was a study in diplomacy, considering that much of his own family had been “successfully” exterminated by the two generals.  It, along with his East West Street, which is about the time same period but with a different focus, is a magnificent display of human cruelty, culpability, denial, determination, and integrity.

Deer, panthers, lions, impala, mambas, and honey badgers are all alert to seize a meal or avoid becoming one. Our gradual development which is dramatically influenced by our early experiences, aided by a very plastic central nervous system capable of conscious thought and intention, allows for extreme variations in behavior not seen in other, more instinctually-bound animals. Like Stalin and his purges, Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge, Ruanda and the Hutu/Tutsi massacres, and the European settlers in America and the Indigenous Peoples, Hitler was able to fashion his murderous prejudices into a doctrine wedded to intimidation that appealed enough to many so that it was fully enacted.

The blindly irrational acceptance of DT by his followers—To an attendee at a Trump rally, “What do you hope to get here today?” His answer, “The truth”.—isn’t unique, but it is still chilling. In fact, the face of evil may be bland, “the banality of evil” as Hannah Arendt put it, and easily wrapped in a saleable package. My argument, such as it is, goes nowhere except that in order to seek and maintain any kind of equality and kindness in the world requires a lot of constant work, not unlike the salmon swimming upstream to spawn. Just as anti-racism must be active, not passive, in order to preserve as public sentiment and action loving kindness, equality, and acceptance of difference, we must regularly press back against the eternal stream of hatred and divisiveness, the potential for which is within each of us.

As I write this sitting in a privileged position under the mosquito net on my patio I hear a lot of noise—-singing, banging of pots, chanting—in the distance as the young people of this country risk themselves to try to reclaim their government. It feels just awful, knowing the consequences for some.

Hopefully, the current GOP will continue to devour itself and reform as a conservative but moderately compassionate counterbalance to the Dems, spitting out the McConnells, the Cruz’s and the Hawley’s along the way. As for the two Q Anon women in Congress…..they’ll consume themselves if left to their own small and sad devices.

“This is surely not the Switzerland we saw in the brochure, dear.”

[Above photo: Protestors in front of the Chinese Embassy.]

15 February 2021

My students notified me that there would be a protest on Friday, gathering in front of the University of Medicine 1 where I am based. I had heard that the Rector, Dr. Zaw Wai Soe, was arrested for protesting the coup online. He is wonderful, a smart, energetic, and visionary man and sympathetic with the need to develop  children’s mental health services in Myanmar, as well. I felt beside myself with anger and helplessness, so I determined to join the protest.

I was told that 70 or so physicians and nurses would stand in front of UM 1; I imagined that the senior professors would make statements of protest. I thought it might be a pretty high-profile event in Myanmar, held at the premier medical school in the country. Students with the highest scores on the secondary school matriculation exam all go to medical school, even if later they do something else.  Plus, the now-widespread CDM (Civil Disobedience Movement) was initiated immediately after the coup by all of the doctors and nurses at government hospitals and universities.  It now affects, and has closed, 140 hospitals countrywide. [Doctors have arranged to see patients for free in their private clinics and there is a private referral system.]

I determined that if they tried to arrest my professor, I would link arms and demand to be included. I imagined it might toss a spanner into the gears for them to have to deal with an 80yo Honorary Professor from America. Perhaps not, but I was determined to test the proposition. I wrote letters to my kids and others, locked my file cabinet, and left a letter with instructions for Kelly to call the Embassy and others in case I was arrested.

I over- and under-read the situation. There were perhaps 1000 doctors and nurses in scrubs and white coats, my professor was busy tending to the 800 chronic inhabitants at Ywar Thar Gyi, the state mental health hospital, and I was the only elder in the group. We marched and carried signs for over 4 hours in the Myanmar heat, threading our way to the Russian Embassy, the Chinese Embassy, and, then, across town to the UN Headquarters, chanting constantly.   

The English language calls and responses were as follows: “Free, free, Aung San Suu Kyi” Marchers repeat (MR); “We voted NLD” MR; “Respect our vote.” MR; “We reject the military coup” MR; “We demand justice” MR; “What do we want?” “De mo cra cy”; “What do we need?” “De mo cra cy: “Support the CDM!” “CDM CDM”. Then a sequence of calls and responses in Myanmar. “We want Democracy.” “Our goal, our goal”, etc. Everything was repeated x2, so if you don’t get it on the first try, you will on the second. Frequently, it seemed to me, one of the call leaders with a bull horn was immediately behind me; my ears are still ringing. There also was a very bouncy song played loudly over mobile PA systems in passing trucks that energized everyone. The song has a polka beat and I plan to have my students teach me the words and tune when we have a slow moment in clinic.

The march was remarkably well organized. We were cordoned by rope boundaries on each side and were polite at major traffic intersections. There were snacks, water, and electrolyte fluids passed out regularly and a squad of trash collectors with large blue bags gathering up any detritus. At both the Chinese and Russian embassies we were met by large and welcoming groups of protesters who had settled in. (The Chinese and Russians leadership are interested in Burma’s riches and geopolitical position and are thought, not surprisingly, to be very supportive of the military and the coup since they all speak the same language. Aung San Suu Kyi cancelled a large Yangon city redevelopment contract with China last year, wary of the python’s coils, I think.) The UN, likewise, had a settled group in front of their headquarters; the protesters request to the UN was, “Please help us.”

I regretfully declined my students’ offer of lunch after the march. I was tired, not hungry, and felt I’d pressed the covid risk far enough for one day. I will note, to those of you who think I am being foolish and irresponsible, that I was triple masked and used hand sanitizer repeatedly. I won’t expose myself frivolously but this seemed important. It turns out it wasn’t so important and I had inflated the role I might play. I am glad my professor and I didn’t get arrested. I’m glad I went with my students. However, that may be my last time, unless there really is a role I could play that would be helpful, which seems extremely unlikely. It turns out that Rector Zaw Wai Soe had not been arrested.

A student sent me some of her top contenders for signs: A mature man holding a sign saying “My daughter marrying her K-pop crush is more believable than MAL’s words.” (Senior General Min Aung Hlaing)  And, “It’s too BAD!!! Even introverts are here.” And, “I should be at home watching BL series but instead I’m here for this shit! So, Fuck Military Coup :)” “Save Myanmar for my best friend. She is still single”. “My ex cheated better than the military.”  Young woman, “I was rejected by my cursh [crush] but you are rejected by millions. Bro, you are next level.” With a photo of a mass gathering, “If you think there is voter fraud, you must have got an F in maths.” Two youths standing next to each other. One sign says, “Don’t fuck with my country. Fuck my friend.” The other sign says, “I am his friend.” “The World: Covid 19 is awful. Burma we have (a photo of Sr. Gen. MAL).” “Myanmar girls be like Then: [photo of a shy, pretty woman] and Now: [photo of a witch with sharp teeth, a club and a shield]” And, “Housewives reject the military.”

It is as difficult for me to know the truth of communicated information here as it is for those who have listened to Lou Dobbs, kindly, reassuring, ass-kissing old grandfather figure that he is.  [He’s probably a pedophile. Wait! Did I say that? I do love it when evangelical leaders or self-anointed Christian prophets (profits?) who rail against this or that carnal sin are discovered to be happily swimming in a lascivious soup of their own Creation.  Schadenfreude.]

While it is deeply disappointing that the corrupted cowards filling our Senate seats will not vote to convict His Flabbiness, it is no surprise. No more so than that his wife is apparently jealous of the attention that the current 1st lady is earning. “Be Best” has the same hollow ring as Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No”.   They may as well say “Let them eat cake” from their wealthy and uninformed podia. It’s why I doubt that the Trump daughter [Ivanka], despite her immense fortune, will ever be a successful politician. She is too shallow and un-empathic to convincingly fake it. Again, as with her Dad, I can in the abstract feel sad for the barren parenting she received.

Yesterday at l’Opera, after watching tennis 14 of us gathered for lunch outside. Two were a young couple from Ukraine who were vacationing at the beach in Napoli when covid struck. Ukraine was hit hard by the virus so they decided to stay at the beach and have been there for nearly a year. She was an IT project manager; he says he just sold his software company. He is Russian, originally from Crimea, and  welcomed the Russian incursion. He was quiet and observant, very much a Russian. It is easy to imagine there is something fishy about their story. But she was animated and friendly.

As to Switzerland, the trains here have completely shut down. We haven’t had intercity bus travel since covid began. Intracity buses can no longer run because of: 1) protesters all over the streets and 2) the country is running low on the natural gas that powers them. Oh, it is also running out of jet fuel. Banks are closed because no one is coming to work. No freighters are loading or unloading at the port. It is rumored that two major banks may collapse. The government shut off the internet last night until 9AM this morning.

This week promises to be very rough. Armored vehicles with machine guns on top are appearing in the city, along with truckloads of soldiers: intimidation time. A massive protest is expected today and I can hear a part of it a mile away as I sit on my patio, enclosed by a mosquito net. The 19yo female student who was shot in the head by the military is brain-dead and her family is being encouraged to take her off of life support. 23,000 prisoners have been released. While it is a custom to let some go on national holidays—last Friday was, ironically, “Union Day”—it does make room for the mass arrests which are anticipated.  The military says it wants “Disciplined Democracy”. The protesters want a new Constitution, in which the military is not in a position of governing, rather reassigned as defenders of the country at the pleasure of the civilian government.

Much of the table talk at lunch was about the CDM’s effectiveness in non-violently confronting the military. The economy has ground to a halt and the wealthy business cadre cannot be happy with the situation. If it descends into anarchy, which I doubt, I’ll try to be evacuated.

Protesting

10 February 2021

[Above photo: Protester in bikini. Her face, at least, is well covered. I thought she put it pretty well, despite mis-spelling “Corps”.  That kind of added to the appeal, for me. It is astounding to see a woman not clothed from neck to ankle, except at fancy embassy or sprivate chool fund-raising events, a sign that young people today feel greatly increased freedom of expression.]

It has been hard for me to sit at a safe distance in a comfortable home and watch the protests grow on video and in print. Yesterday was a difficult day, with large protests all over the country. Water cannons were used against peaceful protesters in Mandalay, Nay Pyi Taw, and Bago. A 20yo girl student has died from a military gunshot to the head, others have suffered gunshots to the chest, and many have endured the pain of rubber bullets and water cannons. Most of the violence has been in Nay Pyi Taw, the capitol; too close for the military’s comfort, I’d guess. The mayor of Mandalay was arrested, as were other protesters and leaders throughout Myanmar.

I WhatsApp’d my students today, wondering what their civil disobedience looks like, saying I wanted to support them and wasn’t comfortable sitting on the sidelines. Within an hour two carloads pulled up, I joined them, and we set off for Hledan Center, one of the two major gathering spots in Yangon. As we drove north along Inya Lake many cars and marchers were heading south to Sule, the other protest center, flags flying, signs displayed, music and horns blaring. I learned that at 1AM the Tatmadaw had broken into the NLD (National League for Democracy, Aung San Suu Kyi’s party) headquarters and raiding and trashing it.

We drove on Parami Road across the top of the lake and down Pyay Road toward Hledan. There is a 4 lane major flyover at Hledan which we drove up and where we parked. Usually cars are flying over at 80km or more but one lane was filled with parked cars. We walked back off the overpass and plunged into the sea of people at Hledan Center. The crowd was smaller than yesterday but still significant. Huge banners with a portrait of The Lady hung from the overpass. Many people wore hard hats. Groups were chanting—“Our goal, our goal. Democracy, democracy.” —in Myanmar.

The signs people carried or flashed from cars reached from the serious to the hilarious. “Trust our votes.” “Restore democracy”. “We don’t want a coup.” And then, a pretty young girl holding a sign that said, “Don’t fuck my dream. Fuck my ex.” Another, held by a very short young man, said, “We don’t want a leader shorter than me.” referring to General Min Aung Hlaing’s Napoleonic stature (allegedly 4’8″). “I don’t want a dictator. I want a boyfriend.” “I love Lisa. I don’t love a coup.” “I don’t want military rule. I just want to read Harry Potter.” An elderly woman held a sign that said: “A.C.A.B All cops are bastards.”

There was little active police or military presence and no bad behavior. With the sound trucks it felt more like a weekend festival. There were many police and military vehicles parked on a section of Maha Bandula Road east of Sule Pagoda, “standing by”, as our past president put it.

The protesters were mostly in their mid-teens to mid-30’s. They were cleverly dispersed all over the city, making confrontation with them more difficult. The mood was festive, yet with an intensity heard mostly when they chanted. I had thought I’d be just riding around in a car, holding a placard, wearing my red and gold NLD hat, and giving the 3 fingered sign. When we dismounted and walked around Hledan Center, I realized that this was covid superspread country. I don’t think I’ll go out again for that reason alone. I did snap a few pictures.

At home we have yet another frog in a vase. Talking with Jose, who lives nearby and faces the same swampy stream, he mentioned that they have frogs “all over the house”. I poured a little more water into the vase but am not going to be trained by a frog to catch and feed him/her flies. I refuse, even though I am tempted. Such a cute frog!

A Quickie

8 February 2021

I want everyone who reads this, which includes mostly friends and family, to know that I am safe and comfortable and feel I am in no danger if I avoid the demonstrations, which I do.

Today there were protest demonstrations in many cities all over the country. 70 government hospitals are shut down or on dramatic work slowdown. An estimated 750,000 people marched in Yangon today, including a group of monks. Some marchers in Nay Pyi Taw, the capitol, were blasted with water cannons but there appear to have been no deaths or serious injuries reported anywhere.

Martial law has been imposed in Mandalay, the second largest city. In Yangon we are under a curfew from 8PM to 4AM. There can be no assembly of more than 5 people, although how this will be enforced with hundreds of thousands marching together is unclear to me.

The telephones and internet have been turned off and on for the past 3 days. They may be off for awhile to discourage organizers of protests, but it doesn’t seem to work and only makes people, including business owners, angry. I may, however, be unable to reply or to send out my blog posts to you at times, but there is no need for worry. Just pretend it is 1975 before email and when overseas phone calls were too expensive to make.

Mostly it makes for a dull time, interspersed with moments of exciting rumor. I have encouraged my students not to express their strong emotions online. We shall see how it plays out. I hope for a peaceful resolution.

Coup Continued

[Above photo:  The only bird to come to our bird feeder. Note the feed; we thought we were buying birdseed but got brightly colored pellets of something else, instead. I wouldn’t eat it either.]

8 February 2021

The coup continues, with growing gatherings of protesters. They assemble at Hledan Center, nearby Yangon University where students triggered the 1988 revolution. They then march across town on a proscribed route to Sule Pagoda and adjacent Maha Bandula Park. Yesterday the crowd of marchers was estimated at 2000. Today it swelled to 10,000+. Plus, the roads were filled with cars of NLD supporters, honking horns and holding up the 3 finger “Democracy” sign, all heading for Sule. Although there were many police and army present at Sule, there was apparently no violence. The doctors, nurses, and support staff at 70 government hospitals across Myanmar are doing “Civil Disobedience”, the details of which I am not certain.

We’ve had guests for supper the past two nights. On each night at 8PM pots were banged all over Yangon, setting up a deafening din for 30 minutes. It is a way to “drive out the evil spirits”; we used it in Boy Scouts to chase off hungry bears from our campsites. Irene and I walked up our driveway in the dark last night to the road to view the pot bangers from there. Our elderly landlords were in a small pocket garden behind their house, banging away. We joined in from the balcony of our home.

Rumors abound. For example, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi provoked the coup because she was getting on in years, had a strong hand having won the November election by a landslide, and wanted to complete the removal of the military from the government. Or, a senior general in Rakhine State has sided with the Rohingya and is commanding his troops to oppose the military in Nay Pyi Taw. Or, Aung San Suu Kyi has been charged with treason and faces something between 20 years and the death penalty. Or, Aung San Suu Kyi has been released from detention. And on and on. Fortunately, through Kelly I have excellent, high level sources of information to correct the “fake news”.

The military government has shut off the internet and phone service for the weekend, presumably to interfere with the opposition organizing. The services go on and off at irregular intervals. It was compounded today by the electricity going off. There is a countrywide curfew from 6PM to 6AM. I had to cancel my Sunday webinar.

As ex-pats, we stay out of the fray. It isn’t our country, we can always hop a plane home (assuming they open the airports which are now closed), and our presence may lend credence to the old military saw that “outside agitators”, in cahoots with Aung San Suu Kyi, are involved. That is a Chinese CP trick, fooling no one, I think. They used it during the demonstrations in Hong Kong to de-legitimize the protesters and distract from the genuine issues.

It feels like the protests may grow and become violent. Then, again, the military may let people march and bang on pots until they weary of it. The outcome is at least as unpredictable as the price of GameStop.

It is pretty hilarious, watching the Republican Party try to deal with their Marjorie Taylor Greene wing: pedophiles, Satanists, cannibals, Frazzledrip, Hugo Chavez, bullets to congress people’s heads, and on and on. I forgot the Jewish space lazers starting the forest fires in California. Some of them are still so shaken by Hillary. Imagine the temerity of That Woman, wanting to be president! There are many thoughtful essays about why people are so susceptible to these wild ideas. I am drawn to the ones that suggest adherents can find what they want in them. Some want an excuse to be violent and an acceptable outlet for their hatred/racism/fear, some want more certainty in their lives, some want to feel special and in-the-know about “secrets”.  The joy of conspiracy is that it provides a way to explain Everything, kind of like a religion. “I don’t know why it happened that way, but God has his reasons.”  Whew, glad there is a holy explanation for the molestations, rapes, murders, wars, cancers, and other assorted miseries allowed, if not enabled, by an all-powerful being.

I apologize to those who are offended by the above. I think that, despite the loving feelings and generous, self-less deeds enacted by many religious leaders and followers, we could just do this as humans and humanists, not as members of this or that exclusive or competing religion. It too often sets up magical thinking, exclusivity, irrationality, anti-science and suppression of knowledge, persecution, and antagonism, “holy wars”—-my god is kinder, smarter, stronger, wiser, righter than your god.  My Bible/Koran/Sutra has the true word. Kind of like fraternities and sororities.

Clearly, I am not about readership here. It is difficult enough for us all to get along together, without bringing exclusivity or a doctrine of superiority into the mix. Religion is often used hypocritically for political manipulation, obscuring underlying issues of economic inequity, oppression of women and minorities, and on and on. Witness the Evangelicals in support of DT, a liar, a womanizer, an adulterer, a rapist, an exploiter of religion.

On a lighter note, I accompanied Kelly on his regular Sunday outing to l’Opera, a wonderful Italian restaurant with outdoor seating on landscaped grounds at the northern edge of Inya Lake. It has an excellent tennis court and, more importantly, an ongoing tennis tournament. I got to watch some very good tennis (Kelly and Andrew winning in doubles) and some mediocre tennis (“I can play better than that.” I told myself.). I had good conversations with several people and enjoyed a fine pasta Amatriciana. I plan to return Sunday mornings on occasion; it is a good place to meet people and also to get information about the coup.  Maybe I’ll even pick up a racquet. The owner, Francesco, is an avuncular 85yo Italian. His first wife died of cancer so he married his secretary from his days as the Italian consul.  Bo Bo is a smart, engaging, university-graduated Myanmar woman. I had a terrific talk with her. I like the mix of characters, from the art gallery owner to the microfinance expert to the power company business facilitator to the head of a UN Agency, all with interesting tales and collected wisdom about working in Myanmar.

This is my first coup. It feels similar to the attempt in the US. First they broke in; then, “Now what?” It’s difficult for me to see a successful or even face-saving military end-game here.

Coup—“A sudden, violent, and illegal seizure of power from a government.”

31 January 2021

[Above photo:  Yet another morning visitor to our bathroom. I think they are now accustomed to using a toilet and must feel it is crude or uncivilized to empty their cloaca outdoors. We are civilizing amphibians.]

A more appealing definition: Coup—“an act of touching an armed enemy in battle as an act of bravery.” {from Native Americans}

After rumors of the same, we awoke this morning to news that the State Counselor, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, has been arrested by the military along with other members of the government and some active members of her political party, the NLD (National League for Democracy). There are many speculations about why this has happened at this time, which I won’t explore here for obvious reasons. In practical terms, the phone service was shut down for several hours, although rumors that the internet would also be shut down have not yet materialized. Grocery stores have been very busy. It has been non-violent. There is supposed to be a “Stay-at-Home Order“ for a couple of weeks and a “State of Emergency” in place for a year, meaning that the Constitution will be suspended and the military will retain total control of the government for that period. The excellent Minister of Health and Sports, Minister Dr. Myint Htwe, has unfortunately resigned.

It doesn’t feel frightening. It feels sad. And it makes me think of what could too easily occur in the US, given the conviction of tens of millions of Americans that DT actually won the election and was cheated out of it, despite all valid evidence and all 86 court challenges dismissed, often by Republican, Trump-administration-appointed judges. I am to lead a training on Job Satisfaction this afternoon for directors of international NGO’s. I think that it is often best to continue scheduled activities in situations like this, rather than indulging in speculation that tends to ramp up everyone’s anxiety. But I’ll see what the group would like.

It may have bearing on my teaching here, although I do not know. At supper last week with Professor Tin Oo and three others, I enquired about my course for this year. “Oh, we won’t have it. We’ll start next January with a year-long diploma course.” I was stunned and hurt. I slept on it and realized I had impulsively brought it on myself.  Feeling lonely for friends and family and having missed the past two summers on the Island, I announced in an email to Professor Tin Oo that I’d be gone for 4 months this summer. I didn’t discuss it with him, the Professor of Psychiatry at the most prestigious medical school in the country, the President of the Myanmar Mental Health Association, and the National Program Manager for Mental Health, and my primary contact, if not Boss. I then wrote an apology, explaining what propelled me, and offered to be gone for only 1 month for which I could arrange to have the lectures covered by interested academics in several different countries. He later mentioned to me that he was reconsidering continuing the course this year. I’d like to get to 25 graduates as a total for my 3 years work here. My impulsivity has caused me to err at different times in my life but this incident was a wakeup call. If only I can live another 80 years to further perfect myself!

Kelly has a humorous way of expressing things. For example, “We’re at DEFCON-1!”, said with desperation and conviction. (We’re out of banana bread.)  Or, “It’s a wrap.” (We’ve finished cleaning up after the Saturday night poker cum supper gathering.) “Take a downer.” (Often said to me when I am speaking rapidly or with passion. I get to say it to him at deserved times, as well.) “Get in the game.” (If I am languidly engaged in a book and we have planned to head out.) “Check’s in the mail.” [He’s already washed the hand towels in the kitchen.] “Lashing out again.” [I suggest to Kelly that I’ll wash the dishes if he puts the food away and cleans the counters.]  We do laugh and I enjoy giving as well as taking. One of his favorites derives from a first trip to Pro 1 Global Home Center, a Home Depot analog with an additional floor of furniture. I needed to buy caulk for my toilet and couldn’t find it or clearly explain myself. I was loudly saying to a young male employee, “I want caulk. I want caulk.” Kelly heard me from several aisles over and totally exploded in laughter. Say it aloud to yourself and you’ll catch on.

With the coup, Connor, a young ex-Peace Corps volunteer who currently works at PLAN International, has moved in with us. He lives alone in an apartment. He has a Myanmar girlfriend about whom he is serious. She lives with her parents, as unmarried young women here do. It seems better for him to be here, with food and company, in case we really are locked down tight for a period of time. He’s part of our regular poker contingent, previously worked for Kelly at PLAN, and is sweet and lively. He is from the middle of Florida; both parents are Democrats but are surrounded by ever-Trumpers. He has chilling tales to relate about the beliefs of their neighbors.

Tim Cook’s criticism of social media algorithms, which select for intense engagement, rings true. Disinformation often is sensational and explosively prominent on the Internet so people believe it to be fact. I know several people who fear the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines because they “change your DNA”. They have read this in articles on the internet.  If you know a bit about DNA, Messenger RNA, and how they function, it is clear that the vaccines cannot alter your DNA. But most people don’t know that, so many, naturally, are wary. I don’t know how this can be solved, short of censorship of sorts. Someone could write, with phony substantiation, that our water supply is poisoned or that this or that person is a witch (In Malawi, this was a common accusation). Could? Have written. Are writing. Shall write.  

Or that the Democratic leadership is a secret cabal of pedophilic, Satan-worshipping [communist] cannibals. And that DT was here to expose and root them out. DT rooting out corruption? [Raucous laughter.] He has welcomed so many corrupt people into our government, and then pardoned their crimes when he was walking out the door. What worries me is that the perfidious snakes in Congress seem convinced that if they lie hard and repeatedly enough they can own public opinion, which they appear to have done, given the reality of the election results, as an example.  Apologies to our legless friends.

The first stanza of “The Second Coming” by WB Yeats describes for me the maw into which we are now peering. It certainly isn’t the first time we humans have done this. Think of the Inquisition, McCarthyism.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity. 

Breathe deeply.

“Life isn’t about holding good cards; rather, it is about playing a poor hand well” Mark Twain

24 January 2021

[Above photo: Statues of monks in a temple in Chiang Mai, Thailand]

Poker is such a strange game. Sometimes a strategy and caginess in betting makes all the difference. But sometimes the luck of the draw, as in life, just flows to one person, over and over. It did last week and again last night. After some frustration, the other 4 at the table just resign themselves to losing, wondering how it keeps breaking that way, and trying to contain their losses while remaining in it, as in life.

We host a game every Saturday night, our big social event. Well, mine. Kelly spends a good bit of time at the American Club after tennis, socializing. Because my shoulder won’t allow swimming or racquet sports and because I have, until the past few months, been so busy that I enjoyed my time alone, I’ve not joined the Club. For poker we have 5 players, three are regulars and the other two vary. We like two young ex-Peace Corps vols who worked at Plan with Kelly but they both have girlfriends and we cannot compete for their attention with them, so we fill in on occasion with a rotating list of others.

Last night it was the country directors for CARE and for Save the Children, both Brits and each about as fluent in poker as we are. We always serve supper and the others learn to bring beer, wine, or dessert. The director of Save came for his first time and was a massive, somewhat embarrassed, winner. Since the stakes are low, it is all fun and there is mostly laughter. If I can play at something for 2 ½ hours with a chance of winning and only lose $6, it feels fine. I crave the feeling of tension with each hand during the betting and then the release of it when someone wins.  You say someone’s sex life is not properly attended to? Really? As Freud pointed out early in his writings, tension and release are pretty ubiquitously pleasurable experiences. Highly motivating.

As has been the turnover of office in the US. The tension for 4 years created by this crude, cheesy criminal was nearly intolerable. Which made Joe’s speech and, even more, Amanda Gorman’s recitation so relieving. And you know that after the doors of the White House were finally opened, Joe didn’t reprimand or fire those who delayed by 15 seconds. The country is in rough seas but is correcting course, clawing off a lee shore toward which it was allowed to drift by he-who-isn’t-even-worth-mentioning. Let’s get support out to people who need it, listen to science, vaccinate all, and rebuild together.

A large black bird with a copper back and wings has been hopping about the yard eating insects. This week I travelled downtown to Inwa Booksellers and bought Birds of Myanmar, a small-by-birding-standards book by three Burmese. The text and illustrations are excellent. I easily found my Greater Coucal  and have possibly identified another visitor as an Asian Fairy Bluebird. I’m not certain and am awaiting another view before I commit. Myanmar is loaded with wonderful birds, including a handful of different hornbills described to me by an acquaintance who saw several on a recent camping trip. Birders can often be quite militant or competitive, in my experience. I just like to observe, identify them if I can, and wonder at their beauty.  I don’t keep a life-list or other nonsense. We regularly saw fabulous birds in our yard in Malawi, as well as in the numerous game parks. The park guides could see, identify, and sex a distant bird which was completely invisible to me. It’s all about pattern recognition and they must get it from an early age, growing up in the bush.

I discovered and explored a large wet market a few blocks from home yesterday on my way to retrieve a book I was having copied, a 350 page text copied and bound for about $7.50.  How do they make any money? The shop was closed on Saturday, so I meandered back through the market. There were all manner of fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as sacks of rice, spices, etc. It lets me know what fruits are in season.  The current winners are tiny tangerines a bit larger than a golf ball. They have a very short season and are wonderfully sweet. It is so much more fun to shop on the street than in the supermarket [as I keep saying].  The produce is always fresher and lasts longer in the fridge if street-bought

It is customary here to be told of a conference or a dinner meeting one or two days in advance. I just received an email inviting me to supper tonight at a fancy hotel with Professor Tin Oo and others. It’ll be my chance to gorge on wonderfully prepared fish and shrimp! My social calendar is quite open.  The mere mention of the meal puts the lie to any pretense I have about not craving animal protein.  I just have temporarily shoved that desire into an accommodating crevice in the dark recesses of my mind.