[Above photo: The Parisian Hotel and Casino, Macau]
1 January 2020
The year has come to a rapid close. I suspect it can get much worse on the US political stage in 2020. I appreciate our attempts to mark time; I think it slows down its passage. Otherwise we’d be crying in a crib one moment and struggling to recall the name of our favorite film—or person—the next. It is scary to see my peers really slowing down, becoming more sedentary, more preoccupied with bodily ailments, and struggling with recall. My experience highlights the advantage of living in an extended family: as you gradually lose it, you can identify with, and lean on, the younger, energetic ones who haven’t.
I had a wonderful sail on the Bay in Lagniappe with Neil and a Rotary friend of his, Peter. The wind was light and fickle but it was still fun and refreshing to be on the water again. Neil is masterful in the skills and aesthetic of boat maintenance and improvement, so the boat gleams. I still cannot convince him to go south with me, catch the trades, and glide to Hawaii. With planning and the right season, the risk would be minimal and the fun of being out of sight and reach of land for 10 days, self-contained, would be special. The beat close-hauled on the trip back might be a grind, a steeply-tipped cabin sole for the same amount of time. But a worthy adventure.
Marie and I had a good walk and better talk. She is one of the most resilient people I know. She loves Zydeco dancing and has found partners over the years with a similar inclination. They travel to Louisiana, go on Zydeco cruises, and generally take fun while staying fit. I saw her daughter, Simone, and met the three darling granddaughters, 8, 6, and 2yo. Little kids are so incredibly cute.
I went with Marie, her friend from middle school in Salinas, and her guy, Murray, to a wonderful Christmas concert at the Jazz and Justice Church. Of course, I fell in love with the preacher, who was simply gorgeous. The music, by both black and white artists, was out of this world. An 11 time Grammy nominee, three amazing black women vocalists, a rock-solid house band, and the amazing Chris Cain. The latter is a white guy who looks like a schlub but is a magician on guitar and vocals—with eyes closed I would have guessed BB King was in the house. Anyway, it reminded me what a repository of brilliance and talent Oakland is.
Then I had coffee with Kimally. We caught up and relived many moments from the Seneca Oak Grove program. It was a locked residential program for 22 of the most violent, traumatized kids in the state. It was pretty scary at times, although neither of us was ever injured. It was great training, as working in a good system with the very disturbed can be, but a sobering lesson in how early and repeated trauma is branded into the brain so fiercely. Some of the kids are now doing much better, even well. I recall taking one hugely muscular, relatively conscience-free boy to the Emergency Department because he had cut himself with broken glass. It was a trip, trying to keep him from listening to gangsta rap in the car and setting up a date with the woman in the adjacent room. He’d previously, at 12 yo, shot his mother in the arm when she was beating him with a shoe. He used to “protect” his aunt while she was on the track. At Oak Grove he attacked one of our staff with a scalpel and we sent him to juvenile hall. He’d also beaten a number of staff and probably seduced one of our nurses. After juvenile hall, he was living in a rooming house and murdered another kid, for which he is still in prison. What a time that was. Kimally looks great and is such a sweetie, raising her sister’s teenage daughter. The latter is bound for Spellman College next year.
I hiked with my hiking group 3x and had a meal with my friend, Martha, and her daughter, Laura, and husband, Nick. On Christmas Day I spent the evening with them, again, having a wonderful meal of brisket in marinara sauce over pappardelle. Both Martha and Laura/Nick have remodeled their respective homes so beautifully.
Supper with Tu, Marisita, Hans, and Patricia was wonderful and filled with memories. Jon Whalen and I met several times, having supper once. His grandson has just been released from the hospital after a long stay for treatment of H. Influenza meningitis. He’s making a swift recovery, as you’d expect from a 3month old. Jon and I saw and heard Charlie Musselwhite (He, also, is an Ancient.) at The Freight and Salvage. He must be our age but still has his chops and has wisely surrounded himself with a young, vibrant band.
I went to Ed and Robin’s for their traditional latka party on Christmas Day. David Harris, a famous draft resistor who went to prison for 2 years and later married Joan Baez, was there, now married to Ed’s niece. He currently has very serious illness but his mind remains sharp. After prison he became a journalist and, later, a writer of books on social causes. He knew my college roommate and friend, Peter Barnes, with whom I’d shared lunch the day before in San Anselmo. Such small circles we run in.
I had supper at Mary’s new apartment and the next day walked around the Lafayette Reservoir with her. She is also a model of resilience and thoughtfulness for me, having lost her husband and moved out of their home within a year +. She seems such a solid source of kindness and good judgment.
I also spent the night in Santa Rosa, visiting with John Croizat and his partner, Linda. John is a fabulous singer-songwriter and you can hear some of his work on his YouTube site at John Roy Zat Croizat. If you have access to a child or grandchild under 6, or if you just want to see a great music video, watch “I like trucks”.
I stayed most of my California visit with Ellen Bloch, whom I’ve known since I was in med school and rooming with her brother. She lives in a gorgeous 100+ year old home in a park-like setting in the middle of Berkeley. You must cross a bridge in her yard over a year-round stream to get to her front door. We mostly had the house to ourselves and shared a number of breakfasts and suppers. Her eldest, Ben, came to stay for a few days with his partner. Ben is an accomplished landscape painter whose work you can see at benblock.com. Ellen was very generous and gracious with my using her home as an Air BnB, minus the nightly fee.
Now I am in Macau, visiting a friend, Aillen. She, also, is a tower of relilience, given the slings and arrows of her fate. We laugh a lot. The place is like Vegas on steroids. The Portuguese were given permission by the Chinese to establish a trading post on the island in 1557 and there are numerous quaint homes and old churches in various districts. The Portuguese left in 1999, ceding control back to China so this is a 20th anniversary celebration. I’m staying in the middle of Macau, but we went to Cotai, a newer casino area, last night. It was over the top, with massive, gaudy buildings, endless casino areas inside, and colored lighting everyw,here. A scale-model of the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe are in front of the Parisian (see above). So many of the casino games are electronic that is seems pretty silly to put your money into them. You don’t even have the illusion of control, of pulling a lever to make the lemons, oranges, etc. line up. I don’t know how to play craps or roulette and I’m sure if I sat at a Blackjack or Hold-em table I’d lose my buy-in immediately. No gambling for me.
I’ll be off to Yangon in 2 days and shall resume writing this regularly from there. I haven’t exercised myself about DT in days and I’m pretty certain it hasn’t affected any outcomes in the courts or in Congress. All in all, an excellent vacation, even if I had to miss seeing several very good, and old, friends.
A Psychiatrist in Myanmar 